He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
