I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
