I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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