The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
