I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
porn star boner night. come get it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
