So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize