he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
As shirtless as possible
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
