Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
