Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
