so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
