his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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