We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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