Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize