Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize