Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
