i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
