no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
