Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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