this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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