If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
