Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
