similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
