called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
