So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize