she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
