It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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