Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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