there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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