My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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