So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
