mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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