hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
