I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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