You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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