There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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