The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
