i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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