I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
