well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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