At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
