Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
