Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize