Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
