We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
