You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
