I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
