Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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