I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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