You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
