Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
