She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
