i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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