Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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