Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
