so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
