I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
