Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
People in love make me want to vomit
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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