i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
