im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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