Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
