I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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