Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i believe in u and ur pee
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize