New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
