this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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