I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have tasted many bathrooms
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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