my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
