I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
