At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
