too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
