does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
