I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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