so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
