Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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