dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize