Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
