laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
