I'm lost and stupid without you.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
