i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Found your dick twin last night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize