Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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