ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
