The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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